Life As Usual

Lately I've been feeling like my life must seem incredibly boring to everyone else. Everyone has had all these awesome vacations or they're planning something big like a Caribbean cruise or a visit to Europe or New York, and when people ask me if I have anything exciting planned I have to answer "Ummmmm... nothing?" Not that's necessarily a bad thing, but after our big trip last summer and the rough time Mark and I had for most of the last year it's been a bit of a downer to not have a big event to plan for an look forward to. (I'll be honest, I've wondered lately if my depression is starting to come back as well.) But on the plus side we're trying to scrape together enough money to visit my grandparents in Jacksonville in a few months. It won't be the best time of year to go, especially for taking Mira to the beach, but since we have to buy her a ticket now we're a bit more limited than in the past.

But I am proud of myself because after thinking all summer that we should take Mira on a hike, a few weeks ago we finally did! It was just a short little hike up to a reservoir. If we hadn't had Mira we would have continued on a few more miles to a waterfall but by then Mira was tired and hot and cranky and miffed at us because we wouldn't let her go swimming in the reservoir so we cut it short. But otherwise it was a great little outing that was free and active, which is perfect.

The Salt Lake Valley

I loved how clear the water was.

Another outdoor activity I've gotten in the habit of doing with Mira (especially since summer will be over soon) is taking her to the splash pad. I've wanted to take her swimming at an actual pool again but when I balance it in my head, a swimming pool costs money and a splash pad doesn't, so for now we've just gone to the splash pad. Mira doesn't care either way. It took her a few tries to get okay with actually getting wet, but then she just ran around laughing hysterically through the water, and then occasionally stopping and belting out a song at the top of her lungs as if she had the most attentive audience in the world.

It's really fun most of the time to play around with Mira outside and just be amazed at the stuff that she does. I blame her complete and utter lack of fear for this.

Seriously, I was probably 4 or 5 by the time I could do a somersault! I did not teach her this at all. Next it'll be cartwheels. She definitely loves to show off, which means she'll be an excellent performer.

Her speech is also getting a lot better. She still has some trouble saying specific words that we give her but then she says a lot of phrases like "I did it!" (her current favorite, besides screaming "No, I!!" when she wants to do something for herself), "I see,""I don't know," and the one that surprised me the other day was when she came downstairs and announced, "Mom, I ray to eet!" So now I'm thinking we don't really need to take her to speech therapy.

It occurred to me that Mira's tantrums don't seem as unpredictable these days, and when they happen they don't seem as bad, nor do they last as long. Although it could just be that I've gotten so used to it that it doesn't register anymore. However, what I have noticed is she is deliberately testing her limits all the time. So instead of a kid that unpredictably throws herself on the ground so she can dramatically scream and flail her limbs around, I have a kid that defies and provokes - and the angrier I get the happier she seems to be about it. Honestly I'm not sure this is much of an improvement, if at all. Add this to her curious personality and her lack of fear of anything and I feel like my stress level is worse than it's ever been. Mark's advice is to have fun with it. My (internal) response is that fathers are inherently the "fun" parent therefore for him this is great advice. For better or worse, the mothers often get stuck with the day-to-day disciplining - not that Mark doesn't discipline either, and we both work so it's not like one of us is stuck at home all the time, but let's face it, dads just have an easier time being fun and I just don't know how to be that kind of fun all the time. Interaction with people takes energy for me. Interacting with little kids takes even more energy. Interacting constantly with a defiant little kid (even though she's cute) without getting a break just drains every bit of energy out of me, and I can feel it happening early in the day too, so then I'm just emotionally exhausted all the time, and that just isn't a good feeling. (For those of you who don't understand what I mean, here's a really good article to read about introverts.) So I don't know if I feel depressed and exhausted and completely over my head because I have bad coping/parenting-of-a-toddler skills or if I need to get back on antidepressants again or if I'm simply not getting time to "introvert" during the day or if these are normal everyday feelings for mothers of small children.

Okay, rant over. Seriously, don't think I regret Mira, because I definitely don't. I love her to pieces and I'm so amazed that my daughter ended up being so charming, energetic, outgoing, friendly, fearless and unbelievably cute.

Finding out if the garbage can has a heart beat.

Future nurse in training.

She couldn't figure out why the cat wasn't eating his twigs - but she kept trying.

I love these next pictures. Some of Mira's tantrums are understandable, and some of them are just Mira milking the situation and being dramatic. Everyone was right, girls are drama without having to be taught.

Oh the tragedy of it all...

By the way, if any of my parent friends want a good laugh, there's this hilarious website called Reasons My Son Is Crying that has really helped put a smile on my face on difficult days because it reminds me everyone else's little kid is also throwing a tantrum for ridiculous reasons. Actually, even if you don't have kids I think you'd get a kick out of it anyway, but I think it's especially funny for people who currently have small kids.

I think my mantra these days should be "It'sjustaphaseit'sjustaphaseit'sjustaphaseit'sjustaphaseit's
justaphaseit'sjustaphaseit'sjustaphaseit'sjustaphaseit'sjustaphase." Maybe if I say it often enough I'll believe it. For those of you who are tempted to tell me to enjoy it while it lasts, I'm going to refer you back to my previous blog post in which I posted a link to an article advising people to say exactly the opposite of that phrase to parents of small children. :)