It's Always Something

It's a law of the universe that when one thing starts to go wrong, stuff keeps on going wrong. I hope the rule that everything comes in threes is true because that should mean we're about done. Up until a couple months ago, we had had our credit card debt completely paid off for a few years. All we were making payments on were the vehicles and the associated insurance, the house (obviously), and my student loans (which, since I had the amazing foresight to graduate from a private liberal arts college, we will be paying off until I'm 80). Then stuff started to go wrong with finances. A couple years ago we bought a food vendor business. Last year it was very lucrative. This year we ran into problem after problem with getting into events and long story short we lost out on our spot for what should have been our big money-maker for the year. Let's just say we're out of a sum in the range of 5 figures. That's pretty much impossible to recover from.

We figured we could limp by, and we could have except that our refrigerator decided it was done doing its job. This is an appliance you can't really live without for any amount of time so that had to be replaced. And that meant we had to open up a store credit so we could replace our fridge. At least we have 6 months to get that paid off before the interest sets in, but it really stressed me out that we had to open a credit account when earlier in the year we would have been able to pay cash.

Next, it was the Mercedes. My work has been doing a lot of neverending construction for the last few months and what that meant was that inevitably something that didn't belong in my tire would end up stuck in there. It was just a matter of time, really. Unfortunately the screw punctured the inside edge of the tire, which can't be patched, which meant the whole tire would need to be replaced. And since the car is AWD, you can't just replace one tire without replacing the other 3 as well. So we had to buy a whole new set of tires - which was something else we couldn't afford out of pocket but you can't really drive a car without tires.

This is what $1000 will get you.

Rather fortuitously (?), we had just opened a credit card account a couple days before so at least we were able to pay for the tires. And at least the new set has a lifetime warranty so if another byproduct of construction destroys the new tires they'll be replaced for free, which is a big relief since I'm pretty sure by now my work will never finish with the construction projects they have going on. And the old tires were more "sport" tires versus "all season" so with winter coming up the new tires should handle the snow a lot better. But still, that was money I'd rather not have to pay off after going so many years without having credit cards at all.

The reason we'd gotten the credit card was to buy plane tickets to Jacksonville so we could visit my grandparents. That was something else we could have been able to afford without too much stretching earlier in the year except for... well, you know. Arguably a vacation should be something you put on the chopping block if you don't have the money but for me, this visit was going to happen and was not in the running to get rid of. Family is very important to me and not to mention we haven't had a real vacation of any sort yet this year, and you can't tell me that's helping our stress level! The nice thing about visiting family is all you really have to pay for is your transportation out there and then most everything else after that is covered.

Very fortuitously for us, my dad came to the rescue with some Frequent Flier miles. He was able to cover the cost of 2 of our tickets and so we only had to buy one round trip ticket, which really made a huge difference. Love you Daddy! It'll be nice for Mira to have her own seat on the plane but that means we have to pay for Mira to have her own seat on the plane. I'm honestly quite nervous about the flight out because I'll be flying out with Mira on my own (Mark wasn't able to get the full amount of time off so he'll be coming out later) and I'm having recurrent nightmares and anxiety attacks picturing a) Mira having the world's worst and longest temper tantrum for the majority of the 3.5 hour flight to Atlanta and b) losing track of Mira in the Atlanta airport trying to make our connection. Or more likely c) me running frantically through the Atlanta airport juggling a thrashing toddler and our carry-on bags. Knowing me I tend to fret needlessly and things work out well but still, any of those scenarios is likely and I'd feel better if I had another person available to help me out. Luckily all three of us will be flying back together. I think the fun part will be seeing Mira's reaction to flying on an airplane. It's not the first plane ride she's ever had but the first she'll really appreciate and get excited about. If I wasn't so worried about the FAA hunting me down I'd record her reaction to taking off.

One casualty of all the stress we've been under (and Mark especially due to additional crap trickling down at his job) is that our fantastic Halloween yard is going to be MIA this year. I'm not hugely disappointed - Halloween is Mark's thing and if getting the yard all tricked out is just going to add to his stress I'm glad he's not doing it - but it's still a bit of a letdown. But there's always next year. And that means I'll be able to focus more on taking Mira trick-or-treating, which I think she'll get very excited about this year. And there are still other Halloween-related activities, such as decorating pumpkins, which we got to do at Mark's parents' house last weekend.

I didn't even know you could stab a pumpkin with pipe cleaners! Mark came up with that one.

I feel bad for Mark because he's been having such a rough time lately and as it's mostly job-related there's not much I can do about it. Sometimes he'll seem like he's having a good day and then he'll say something like he wished someone had shot him while he was on duty today because he doesn't want to deal with it anymore and at least if he was killed on duty we would be taken care of monetarily. Umm yeah, just slightly disturbing to hear something like that. I wonder if all cops talk like this when they get overwhelmed or if it's just mine. But at least Mark has found a good appropriate outlet for his pent-up emotions: hockey! He recently joined a rookie league and he's always so pumped up and in a great mood for a couple of days after his practices. I'm not much of a sport person but of course now hockey is my favorite sport. :) I went to watch one of his practices and was really impressed with how well he's doing for someone who's never played hockey before! He's the one in the black jersey with red, grey and white stripes and the white helmet.

And of course we went to see the season-opener game of the Utah Grizzlies, our local hockey team. We won, of course. Go Grizzlies!

On to a different topic, as of this morning here is Mira's potty chart.

She was doing really well using the potty at least a few times a day for awhile, then she got less excited and I stopped pushing it, mostly because I knew this trip to Jacksonville would be happening soon and I really didn't want to deal with a newly potty-trained toddler on a cross-country plane trip. But she'll still use the potty at least once a day, and if she's with me when I use the bathroom she applauds me so at least she's making the connection. Now I want a potty chart and a reward every time I use the potty.

She's still super sneaky, especially since she's figured out how to quietly open up the door to the bedroom. I was talking to Mark while he was taking a shower one morning (I had left Mira on the couch watching one of her favorite shows so I figured she'd be riveted to the TV for the next few minutes), and when I walked into the bedroom I found this:

I'm not sure how she sniffed out that bag of Reece's Pieces but apparently she's got a nose for it. But she was very happy snuggled under the covers. (I always smile a bit to myself when I see her do this because before Mira was born Mark was adamant that she would never come into the bedroom after she outgrew the bassinet. Our bedroom is for us, went his reasoning. I'm sure he had every intention of firmly following through with this rule until Mira wrapped him around her little finger. This man loves his daughter so much! So now when she sneaks in and gets under the covers he usually ends up having a tickle match with her, unless by some chance she's sleepy enough she'll let him snuggle with her. I think she'll decide pretty soon that she's a daddy's girl.)

We went to my dad's and stepmom's for dinner last night and dessert was frozen blueberries with whipped cream. You can't really tell how purple her teeth and lips are in the pictures but at least they're good pictures.

Afterwards we took Mira to yet another park and she had a blast on the swings.

And just because, a couple pictures Mira took of Neo. He was not feeling very camera-ready at the moment.

And a picture of Wally, just because he's weird.

Fall Activities

I think in the last few weeks Mira and I have spent more time outside than we have during the summer months - the weather has been so nice out here! Autumn is one of my favorite times of the year anyway but with an active toddler that doesn't enjoy sitting inside (ok who am I kidding, she hates to sit at all) this weather has been very helpful. We've had lots of fun going to the various parks in the neighborhood, and once my mom got to join us.

My mom is very hands-on

I have to say that I absolutely LOVE how this second picture came out. This was one of those shots that had perfect timing. And it certainly represents how active and busy and fun-loving this girl is.

We also went to the children's museum again after a few months' hiatus. They've added some new stuff to the helicopter that Mira enjoys so much, including an injured patient and the Emergency Department from my work. 

We're starting her young!

I hear a lot from people that they can't believe how grown-up Mira is looking. She's definitely losing that baby look. I used to be sad and nostalgic about it but it's actually starting to be exciting for me to watch her grow up. Plus now that her hair is getting long I get to play with it.

Mira is girly enough that she gets excited about getting her hair done... sometimes. Every few days she decides she wants to say "no" to everything and then it's just battle after battle all day long. Those days are hard for everybody. It's so tempting to just give in and save the trouble of dealing with a screaming child every five minutes! I guess that's what we get for having a diva princess.

I was at work when Mark sent me these pictures and it made my night. Anything princess gets this girl's attention! And apparently when Mark tried to get Mira out of her princess dress she threw a massive tantrum. I was a little relieved that he was the one who got to deal with it that time. :) Mira has her daddy wrapped around her little finger, no doubt about it. Anything she does Mark thinks it's the most wonderful thing ever and he swears all the time that she's absolutely perfect - so I feel bad for any guy who thinks he's going to date Mira in the (very distant) future.

Mira's other obsession these days besides showing everybody she comes across her pretty ruffly skirts/dresses that she insists on wearing is performing. Anything providing a slight elevation off the ground will do for a stage and she doesn't even need much of an audience to get going.

This one I think is hilarious. We tried to teach Mira the Chicken Dance and this is her version of it.

And speaking of hilarious, this is what's starting to happen when she gets ahold of my phone these days.

Most of the time Mira is very charming and hilarious and continues to surprise me with her grasp of the world. For example, she's starting to get the concept of counting and numbers, which is still a challenge for me most days so this one impresses me. (I like to say that I know enough math to keep my patients alive and that's as far as it goes.) If Mark and I are doing something together, like sitting on the couch, Mira will come up and point to each of us and say, "Mom, Daddy, Momdad, two!" and hold up 2 fingers. So I'll ask her how many it makes if it's mommy, daddy, and Mira. So she'll say, "Mom, Dad, me, three!" and hold up 3 fingers. She's actually really good about getting numbers right up until about 4 or 5 and then it gets sketchy, but still!

And then some days she does stuff that makes me want to rip my hair out. For example, she thinks it's hilarious to ignore me and continue to go about her business when I'm calling her name. I don't find this particularly amusing, especially when I'm trying to get her attention to keep her from walking into the street or crawl underneath the car or something similar. So one day we were at the park and she was having one of those days when everything was causing a meltdown. Finally I ended the park visit early and started herding her home, which of course caused another meltdown but she calmed a bit when I told her we'd eat lunch when we got back to the house. So when we got home I told Mira I needed to use the bathroom real quick and then I'd make her lunch. This news caused another meltdown and rather than try to reason with her I just went upstairs to the bathroom. When I came back downstairs 60 seconds later, Mira was nowhere to be found. I called her name, and of course she didn't answer. I went through all the rooms in the house, and didn't see her. I didn't think she'd gone outside since both the front and back doors were closed (and when she's gone through the doors it hasn't occurred to her to close the doors behind her) but after ransacking the house and calling her and not finding any trace of her, I started to panic. I looked in the back yard and didn't see her, which meant she had to have gone out the front door. I frantically called Mark while I was running around the block; he gave me the number for dispatch and told me to call the police. Of course I'm screaming Mira's name and of course she's not answering. I got back to the house and was about to grab my keys so I could drive around and cover more ground when I just happened to glance out the back door and saw the top of Mira's head as she was running around in the back yard. I believe this is what other parents are referring to when they say parenthood is wanting to hug and strangle your kid simultaneously. Needless to say Mira got a very stern talking-to, which caused yet another meltdown. Naptime really didn't come soon enough for either of us that day. Luckily most days are not like this.

Me? Naughty?

Our new batch of chickens are starting to lay so now we're getting 3-5 eggs each day, which means everyone gets scrambled eggs or omelets for breakfast. We try to let the chickens wander around the back yard once a day, and one of the hens got brave enough to climb the steps to the back porch and investigate. Try to ignore how dirty the glass is and how cluttered the porch is.

Mira screams and runs away when she gets near a chicken but I don't think she's actually afraid of them. She knows how to put on a show. (See videos above.)

And now a story about this bizarre cat.

One day Wally came upstairs with what I originally thought was a toy mouse in his jaws, but then after thinking for a minute I remembered we didn't have any toy mice, especially ones that squeak. Besides the disturbing fact that we obviously have live mice in the house, Wally had somehow managed to get it and was playing mercilessly with it. Meanwhile my other cat Neo slept through this whole thing on the couch. Wally, who is declawed and has spent his whole life indoors, knew what to do with a mouse better than the prowling-around-outside-at-night-with-claws-attached Neo. Eventually I had to grab the mouse by the tail (shudder) since it was obvious Wally wasn't going to eat it, and went outside to give it to Isis, my outside cat. She of course knew what to do with it. Sorry to those of you who are squeamish or don't like to think about mice dying. Wally was rewarded with a kitty treat, and Neo got nothing for being lazy.

Finally, yesterday Mark and I ran another 5K called the Hit and Run. For those of you who have seen the show Wipeout or American Ninja Warrior, it was kind of like that. My sister Sara, her friend Crystal, and her (Crystal's) father all ran the race.

Unfortunately we didn't have a designated photographer so we don't have pictures of us during the race but it was a lot of fun! This one we didn't run to get a good time of course but it was still a blast. We're hoping the race is put on next year so we can do it again with a bigger team. If you're curious as to what sorts of obstacles we had to conquer, here's the video the race organizers made.

Apparently Mark and I only do unconventional races that involve obstacles or getting stuff thrown at us or wading through some substance or another.

Finding Time

I feel kind of bad that I spent so much of the last post complaining about how horrible my life is. Honestly, I really do know that I have things way easy compared to... Well, you know how you're not supposed to compare yourself to anybody except yourself. But I really was feeling worn out and at the end of my rope. It happens to everybody and boy does it seem to happen to me a lot. But one of the results of my job is that sometimes I get a really gut-wrenching reality check. I get new perspective about life. I have witnessed some heart-breaking events in my years as a nurse but this one... this one was especially difficult. When I came home from work I hugged my little girl extra tight and reminded myself that I am SO LUCKY that I can hug her and kiss her and that she is here to be her dramatic, sassy little self, because today a mother went home and will never be able to do those things ever again. Sometimes a change of perspective is all you need to change your attitude.

One of the nice things about autumn (besides pumpkin-flavored everything and fall fashion) is that the weather is finally bearable, which means lots more outside time! We got Mira a scooter awhile ago but it's been so darn hot it just hasn't been worth anybody's time to teach Mira how to use it. She picked up on it pretty fast! Now she loves to take it around the block and I think eventually she's going to be a speed demon.

Mark and I also did something else we've been threatening to do for awhile but hadn't happened yet - we took Mira to the zoo. She was excited about the idea of seeing lots of animals, and I think she enjoyed the animals but the reality was that we were getting way into her naptime by the time we had finished at the zoo and she was too tired and cranky and impatient to worry about looking at some animals that weren't doing a whole lot (in her opinion). But we still enjoyed the outing and Mira still talks about the elephant and says she remembers the rhinoceros.

Mira and the polar bear.

Visiting with the orangutan.

I look at these pictures and just can't believe how big she's getting - she's definitely a little girl! And one thing that goes along with being a little girl is learning how to use the big girl potty. Over the past few months we've been working on having her sit on the potty, first with her clothes on and then we moved to getting her to take her pants and diaper off. But up until a couple weeks ago she hadn't made the connection between sitting on the potty and actually using the potty. One day she was farting a lot and I thought, "You know, let's just see if this works." So I sat her on her little princess potty, gave her the iPad, and waited. About 20 minutes later, the potty starts singing and playing music (using positive feedback so she knows she did it right). And lo and behold, she'd done it!!! I got super excited, which I think caught her off guard, but then she got excited and I think that's what helped her make the connection. I thought, "Awesome, now we can really get going on potty training!"

But the next day when I tried to sit her on the potty, she was terrified of the potty. I mean, absolutely petrified. I couldn't figure it out. She eventually sat, and went again, but she would scream in genuine terror whenever I mentioned sitting on the potty after that. Finally I was able to figure out that she was scared of the potty singing to her.

So I removed the part of the potty that sings but she was still scared to death to sit on the potty, and even if I was able to convince her to sit, she would go but then refuse to get up for fear of the potty singing to her. I wasn't sure how to handle it - she had to figure out eventually that there was nothing to be afraid of, but potty training is not something I wanted to her have bad associations with. Finally we put the smaller potty seat on the regular toilet and sat her up there, which worked okay (probably because it's too tall for her to try and make a run for it), and the last few days she's cried a little right when we sit her down but after I hand her the iPad she calms down and gets excited about the idea of another sticker for her potty chart and a treat. I'm not pushing it really hard at this point (I make her sit once a day, maybe twice if I'm feeling ambitious) but I'm just happy she's made the connection and hopefully she's not traumatized for life.

One thing I hear from people frequently when they see Mira (or pictures of her) is that she is all girl. She's always wearing a skirt or a dress, has nail polish, her earrings, and bows/flowers in her hair. I'll admit that some of that is me but if you make the mistake of letting her choose what she wants to wear she always chooses the frilliest, poofiest, girliest dress. Lately I've been inclined to just let her wear a fancy dress if she wants to. We don't go anywhere fancy so it's not like we have to keep the dresses in good condition for anything, plus she's going to grow out of her clothes in the very near future and what good are dresses if you can't wear them? So I let her get all dressed up for no reason whatsoever. She loves it. She likes to pick up her skirt and twirl around and make sure that everybody she sees is impressed with how pretty she is (which really doesn't take much effort). Sometimes I'm amazed at how charming and outgoing my daughter is. Whenever we go out in public she cheerfully waves and says "Hi!" to every single person she passes, and if they don't say anything back at first she keeps saying "Hi!" until they notice her. Teaching her about "stranger danger" might be tricky.

Of course she still has her naughty moments, although sometimes she seems so unconcerned with how upset I get at her that it makes me question whether I'm going overboard with her disciplining. But then I remind myself that throwing rocks is not and likely never will be socially acceptable so even if she makes me feel guilty for disciplining her I have to stick to my guns and follow through. Most of the time she's pretty good about not throwing a tantrum if I give her a choice and the threat of a consequence. The hard part is that it's constant. My dad, who survived three girls, has mentioned that Mira is like 4 kids in one. So now I feel validated for feeling overwhelmed! The nice part about her being so active is that, at 2 1/2, she still takes at least a 2 hour nap every day plus sleeps a good 11-12 hours at night.

Some of what she does is totally just for show and I have such a hard keeping a straight face.

To help me manage my stress I've taken up a new activity - running. I've never enjoyed running but over the summer I decided I wanted to try something new and challenging and since running has never come easily to me I decided to give it a go. Honestly, the first month or so was awful. I felt so out of breath and sick to my stomach at the end of every run but I was determined to keep going. Finally, once I got to the point when I could run a 5K, I started to feel good while I was running. I'd found my stride, so to speak. I'm not following any specific training plan but I try to go for a run at least 3 days a week and at least 3 miles at a time. Last week I was able to go over 4 miles, and still felt pretty good at the end! It's pretty exciting, and I have an app for my phone that tells me how far I've run and my current and average pace, and I've found that I like to compete with myself to see if I can go faster/farther each time. So the next step was to sign up for a race. I don't count the Dirty Dash as an actual race since it was more for the camaraderie than for the racing when we did those. So yesterday Mark and I ran our first 5K race, the Heart Walk to raise money for the American Heart Association. It was nearby and definitely a worthy cause. Our goal going into it was to run the 5K in less than 30 minutes.

Before the race

Not only did we finish the race in less than 30 minutes, we were well under that - we crossed the finish line at 28 minutes 21 seconds! Not too shabby! We were so proud of ourselves, and now I think my next goal should be to run a 10K.

After the race. That's not blood, it's colored corn starch. We can't seem to get through a race without getting covered in something.

And of course it wouldn't be fall without football! The only team Mark and I really follow is the University of Utah, and neither of us have attended that school, but I've worked with many residents from the medical school and it's better than any of the alternatives around here, especially since Utah doesn't have a pro football team. We're teaching Mira to say "Go Utes!" But for now we dress her up as a cheerleader on game days.

She's eating a tomato. This girl LOVES tomatoes.

And I leave you with one of my favorite pictures. Mira see, Mira do.