Finding Time

I feel kind of bad that I spent so much of the last post complaining about how horrible my life is. Honestly, I really do know that I have things way easy compared to... Well, you know how you're not supposed to compare yourself to anybody except yourself. But I really was feeling worn out and at the end of my rope. It happens to everybody and boy does it seem to happen to me a lot. But one of the results of my job is that sometimes I get a really gut-wrenching reality check. I get new perspective about life. I have witnessed some heart-breaking events in my years as a nurse but this one... this one was especially difficult. When I came home from work I hugged my little girl extra tight and reminded myself that I am SO LUCKY that I can hug her and kiss her and that she is here to be her dramatic, sassy little self, because today a mother went home and will never be able to do those things ever again. Sometimes a change of perspective is all you need to change your attitude.

One of the nice things about autumn (besides pumpkin-flavored everything and fall fashion) is that the weather is finally bearable, which means lots more outside time! We got Mira a scooter awhile ago but it's been so darn hot it just hasn't been worth anybody's time to teach Mira how to use it. She picked up on it pretty fast! Now she loves to take it around the block and I think eventually she's going to be a speed demon.

Mark and I also did something else we've been threatening to do for awhile but hadn't happened yet - we took Mira to the zoo. She was excited about the idea of seeing lots of animals, and I think she enjoyed the animals but the reality was that we were getting way into her naptime by the time we had finished at the zoo and she was too tired and cranky and impatient to worry about looking at some animals that weren't doing a whole lot (in her opinion). But we still enjoyed the outing and Mira still talks about the elephant and says she remembers the rhinoceros.

Mira and the polar bear.

Visiting with the orangutan.

I look at these pictures and just can't believe how big she's getting - she's definitely a little girl! And one thing that goes along with being a little girl is learning how to use the big girl potty. Over the past few months we've been working on having her sit on the potty, first with her clothes on and then we moved to getting her to take her pants and diaper off. But up until a couple weeks ago she hadn't made the connection between sitting on the potty and actually using the potty. One day she was farting a lot and I thought, "You know, let's just see if this works." So I sat her on her little princess potty, gave her the iPad, and waited. About 20 minutes later, the potty starts singing and playing music (using positive feedback so she knows she did it right). And lo and behold, she'd done it!!! I got super excited, which I think caught her off guard, but then she got excited and I think that's what helped her make the connection. I thought, "Awesome, now we can really get going on potty training!"

But the next day when I tried to sit her on the potty, she was terrified of the potty. I mean, absolutely petrified. I couldn't figure it out. She eventually sat, and went again, but she would scream in genuine terror whenever I mentioned sitting on the potty after that. Finally I was able to figure out that she was scared of the potty singing to her.

So I removed the part of the potty that sings but she was still scared to death to sit on the potty, and even if I was able to convince her to sit, she would go but then refuse to get up for fear of the potty singing to her. I wasn't sure how to handle it - she had to figure out eventually that there was nothing to be afraid of, but potty training is not something I wanted to her have bad associations with. Finally we put the smaller potty seat on the regular toilet and sat her up there, which worked okay (probably because it's too tall for her to try and make a run for it), and the last few days she's cried a little right when we sit her down but after I hand her the iPad she calms down and gets excited about the idea of another sticker for her potty chart and a treat. I'm not pushing it really hard at this point (I make her sit once a day, maybe twice if I'm feeling ambitious) but I'm just happy she's made the connection and hopefully she's not traumatized for life.

One thing I hear from people frequently when they see Mira (or pictures of her) is that she is all girl. She's always wearing a skirt or a dress, has nail polish, her earrings, and bows/flowers in her hair. I'll admit that some of that is me but if you make the mistake of letting her choose what she wants to wear she always chooses the frilliest, poofiest, girliest dress. Lately I've been inclined to just let her wear a fancy dress if she wants to. We don't go anywhere fancy so it's not like we have to keep the dresses in good condition for anything, plus she's going to grow out of her clothes in the very near future and what good are dresses if you can't wear them? So I let her get all dressed up for no reason whatsoever. She loves it. She likes to pick up her skirt and twirl around and make sure that everybody she sees is impressed with how pretty she is (which really doesn't take much effort). Sometimes I'm amazed at how charming and outgoing my daughter is. Whenever we go out in public she cheerfully waves and says "Hi!" to every single person she passes, and if they don't say anything back at first she keeps saying "Hi!" until they notice her. Teaching her about "stranger danger" might be tricky.

Of course she still has her naughty moments, although sometimes she seems so unconcerned with how upset I get at her that it makes me question whether I'm going overboard with her disciplining. But then I remind myself that throwing rocks is not and likely never will be socially acceptable so even if she makes me feel guilty for disciplining her I have to stick to my guns and follow through. Most of the time she's pretty good about not throwing a tantrum if I give her a choice and the threat of a consequence. The hard part is that it's constant. My dad, who survived three girls, has mentioned that Mira is like 4 kids in one. So now I feel validated for feeling overwhelmed! The nice part about her being so active is that, at 2 1/2, she still takes at least a 2 hour nap every day plus sleeps a good 11-12 hours at night.

Some of what she does is totally just for show and I have such a hard keeping a straight face.

To help me manage my stress I've taken up a new activity - running. I've never enjoyed running but over the summer I decided I wanted to try something new and challenging and since running has never come easily to me I decided to give it a go. Honestly, the first month or so was awful. I felt so out of breath and sick to my stomach at the end of every run but I was determined to keep going. Finally, once I got to the point when I could run a 5K, I started to feel good while I was running. I'd found my stride, so to speak. I'm not following any specific training plan but I try to go for a run at least 3 days a week and at least 3 miles at a time. Last week I was able to go over 4 miles, and still felt pretty good at the end! It's pretty exciting, and I have an app for my phone that tells me how far I've run and my current and average pace, and I've found that I like to compete with myself to see if I can go faster/farther each time. So the next step was to sign up for a race. I don't count the Dirty Dash as an actual race since it was more for the camaraderie than for the racing when we did those. So yesterday Mark and I ran our first 5K race, the Heart Walk to raise money for the American Heart Association. It was nearby and definitely a worthy cause. Our goal going into it was to run the 5K in less than 30 minutes.

Before the race

Not only did we finish the race in less than 30 minutes, we were well under that - we crossed the finish line at 28 minutes 21 seconds! Not too shabby! We were so proud of ourselves, and now I think my next goal should be to run a 10K.

After the race. That's not blood, it's colored corn starch. We can't seem to get through a race without getting covered in something.

And of course it wouldn't be fall without football! The only team Mark and I really follow is the University of Utah, and neither of us have attended that school, but I've worked with many residents from the medical school and it's better than any of the alternatives around here, especially since Utah doesn't have a pro football team. We're teaching Mira to say "Go Utes!" But for now we dress her up as a cheerleader on game days.

She's eating a tomato. This girl LOVES tomatoes.

And I leave you with one of my favorite pictures. Mira see, Mira do.